I really didn't think that anyone would be interested in hearing about my antics, let alone post comments, let alone actually enjoy reading my postings and being entertained! I don't even mind that the entertainment comes at my expense, visa vi my miserable misadventures. This has pretty much been a main theme of my life story, so I'm long since used to it. I even know that part of the amusement stems from the fact that you think most of my misfortunes are my own fault, and I don't seem to realize it. That's OK too. I can see how it might seem that way to you, but I know better. Don't get me wrong (which everyone does), I definitely screw up now and then, but on the whole, I really don't think its my fault. You might think I'm arrogant for saying this, but like I said, I'm used that. While we're at it, not only do people not like me, but they think I'm a real jerk too, so I'm used to that as well. It does bother me at some level, but I have so much debris and rubble inside, that I rarely have time to get that far down into it, to the place where it actually hurts anymore.
I do have some return comments however:
1. Actually Eric, I didn't have one second of "fun" the whole way. It was one of the most miserable experiences I have ever had, and I have had plethoras (wow! I spelled that right without spell-checker!). I can look back on it now with some humor, only because subsequent misfortunes have pushed those out of the front of my mind. Also, I can see how my exploits would be entertaining and even amusing to other people. They would be funny to me too, were it not for the fact that they were happening to me. I am also able to cope with it all, because like I said, I am confident that it really isn't my fault. I usually do things competently and sometimes even the right way, so I can't be nearly as hard on myself as my wife is. I have concluded (or, at least, I am fairly sure), that Satan is behind it all. There is no way in hell (well, maybe in hell) that so many diverse and unconnected things could possibly go wrong in such a perfect, unbroken sequence over such a sustained period of time, simply as a product of the natural laws and the efforts of one person. In fact, even if I was TRYING to make these things happen, I couldn't come close. It's like that mousetrap game that some kids had back in childhood (in the 60's), but under nuclear power. Remember? The metal ball rolled down a track, knocking things over that tripped other items that pushed things into harm's way that started fires that burned down buildings that fell on spectators that ran the wrong way into traffic that caused crashes that resulted in insurance claims that weren't paid because my last payment was lost in the mail and it was one day (and only one day) past the grace period, and so on and so on and on and on and on.
2. Actually Steve, not one word of that account was a "yarn." It happened exactly that way. In fact, I left out most of the details and several of the other disasters in the chain. By the way, thanks for going back to edit your posting. You had me looking up "yam" in the dictionary to discover some category of meaning that I never knew existed. Also, thanks to your type-o, I now know the difference between a yam and a sweet potato, which I never knew before!
3. Actually Jay, my wife is not "long-suffering." She's the one who has been making me suffer long (very long). If she knew I was posting this stuff where someone else could read it, she too, would be going nuclear. It's worth the risk though, because even though I really didn't intend to talk about her at all, I just couldn't help myself. By the time I got to the end of the story (that chapter of it anyway), I actually felt better for having done it. I guess writing might be able to provide me with some kind of therapy, which I definitely do need. The psychiatrist that my wife and sister sent me to a few weeks back certainly didn't help (I think he had mental problems). By the way, my sister paid for that (she's a doctor), since my medical insurance wouldn't have paid, even if I had any, which I don't. This is another one of the real reasons why my wife is so against my sailing. She's afraid I'll get seriously hurt again and we'll loose the broken down homestead in WV that she hates so much.
Anyway, thank you for showing me how to post things to the website. Sandy would never suspect that I could do this, and I'm certainly not going to tell her, so our secret should be safe. I also appreciate your telling me that my posting was not too long. My wife says that the main reason she doesn't listen to me is that I go on and on and on. The truth is, I'm the one that can't get a word in edgewise. Nevertheless, if I keep on blogging (is that the right word?), which I plan to do, I'm sure that in short order, I will start to bother my fellow Westsailors (like I always do) and they will start to complain (like they always do). I really think I should use that blogger.com site that you directed me to. I already copied and pasted my my first posting there. Can you put something on the WOA website to direct people to it before I start to cause trouble (if I haven't already)? Thank you so much!
If I could impose on your helpfulness for one more thing... I really did have a shipwreck on my way home from Key West, and my boat is going to need a lot of repairs. I'm also not mechanically inclined and could really use some help here too. How do I find out about buying parts and getting advice about how to fix things? Also, If I can sneak some money out of her iron grip, there are all kinds of things I'd like to buy. First on the list is a self-steering vane. A lot of my misfortunes could have been avoided if the boat would have been going the right way while I was attending to all the calamities.
Well, I already feel like I made three new friends, even though they'll probably get tired of me pretty quick. Thanks you guys! Your really made my Christmas Merry! (or at least tolerable)
Your friend (for the time being),
Christian
P.S. Coincidently Jay, the boat does, in fact, have a halon fire extinguisher in the engine room, but guess what? Yep, it's defunct too!
